Sunday, June 18, 2017

Why Single Mothers Can't Wish Themselves A Happy Father's Day



Every Father's Day thousands of single mothers get together on social media wishing each other a Happy Father's Day! I am completely empathetic towards women who are actually single mothers and who don't have many male figures in their lives, but some women are just plain bitter about their failed relationships and the children that resulted from them. Then there's the ones who are just plain attention crazy. They're so used to having all the attention on them they can't take the men being the center of attention for a day.






But, the mentality of these women that wish themselves a Happy Father's Day can be harmful to both children and men. The reason being is because, it in-acknowledges the countless male figures a child may encounter throughout their childhood causing them to not respect male authority figures. Just because a woman may not be in a relationship with her child's father doesn't mean that she plays both roles. Neither does it mean that she is a single parent.

Many of these women have boyfriends who they bring home often or who live with them and still consider themselves single mothers. These men are around the children of these women enough to influence them. Many children also have adult male siblings, cousins, uncles, grandfathers, teachers, coaches, and pastors who they interact with on the day to day basis. These men are male figures for these children and will help shape and mold their perception of what a man is or isn't.

Instead of the mother of these children acknowledging these men on Father's Day she'd rather give praise to herself claiming that she fills both roles; which is impossible for her to do, being as though she is not a man and therefore cannot be a father. These women obviously confuse providing financial support and being physically there with being a man. No! That's called being a "parent".






A young girl learns to be a woman by observing her mother. Most of her views on life, men, and how to interact with them will come from how she sees her mother interact with them. How does this work for a young boy? How can a young boy learn to be a man from observing his mother? And if the young girl is learning to be a woman from observation of her mother, wouldn't the young boy observe the same things?

A woman can't teach a young boy how to be a man because, he can't observe her being one. All he sees is his mother and not a father figure. It's these same women who complain about so many men having female tendencies these days. Many of these men grow-up in single parent households with nothing to observe but women. As a result, some of these men have picked-up effeminate traits. That's why positive male influence is essential to a young boy.

There are plenty of men raising children without the mothers help and we don't often hear these guy's claiming Mother's Day. These men understand they are not filling a mothers shoes; they're just being a "parent".

That being said, it is a mother's responsibility to make sure her children have positive male mentorship in their lives regardless of her relationship status with the father of her children. It is also a father's responsibility to be active in their children's lives; providing as much of a positive male influence as possible.