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Why Single Mothers Can't Wish Themselves A Happy Father's Day

Every Father's Day thousands of single mothers get together on social media wishing each other a Happy Father's Day! I am completely empathetic towards women who are actually single mothers and who don't have many male figures in their lives.

Some of these women may just be bitter about their failed relationships and the children that resulted from them. Others may just be attention crazy and might not like men being the center of attention for one day of the year. Whatever it may be though, the mentality of these women that wish themselves a Happy Father's Day can be harmful to both children and men. The reason being is because it in-acknowledges the countless male figures a child may encounter throughout their childhood causing them to not respect male authority figures.

Just because a woman may not be in a relationship with her child's father doesn't mean that she plays both roles as a parent. The father may still be very present in a child's life; financially, physically, or both. Neither does it mean that she is a "single-parent". Eligibility to use the term "single-parent" requires a person to actually be single. Many of these women have boyfriends who they bring home often or who live with them and still consider themselves "single-mothers". These men are around the children of these women enough to influence them to some degree. 

Many children also have adult male siblings, cousins, uncles, grandfathers, teachers, coaches, and pastors who they interact with on a day-by-day basis. Many of these men are male figures for these children and will help shape and mold their perception of what a man is or isn't; good or bad.

Instead of the mother of these children acknowledging these men on Father's Day she'd rather give praise to herself claiming that she fills both roles as a parent; which is impossible for her to do, being as though she is not a man and technically cannot be a father. These women obviously confuse providing financial support and being physically there with being a father; when in all actuality that's just called being a "parent".

A young girl learns to be a woman by observing her mother. Most of her views on life, men, and how to interact with them will come from how she sees her mother interact with them. How does this work for a young boy? How can a young boy learn to be a man from observing his mother? And if the young girl is learning to be a woman from observation of her mother, wouldn't the young boy observe the same things? This is why it is important for young boys to have positive male role models. 

The reason a woman can't teach a young boy to be a man is that he cannot observe her being a man. All he sees is his mother; a woman, and not a father figure. Ironically, it's these same women who complain about so many men having female tendencies these days. Many of these men grow-up in "single-mother" households with nothing to observe but women. As a result, some of these young men will pick-up effeminate traits.

There are plenty of men raising children without the mother's help and we don't often hear these guy's claiming Mother's Day and they're not calling themselves "single-parents" if they are in relationships with women who are an essential part of their children's lives. These men understand they are not filling a mother's shoes; they're just being a "parent".

That being said, it is a mother's responsibility to make sure her children have positive male mentorship in their lives regardless of her relationship status with the father of her children. It is also a father's responsibility to be active in their children's lives; providing as much of a positive male influence as possible. So, ladies instead of claiming Father's Day for yourselves, how about giving tribute to the men who are in your child's life.